Caleb and Essek WIP while I lose my mind watching the CR2 finale

wish i had a bit going where whenever i said "the prophecy" like three of my friends would repeat "the prophecy" in different tones while squinting into the distance and rubbing their chins like sages deep in thought. i would also do this for them, im a team player

okay, so, be me, 27 years old at the time, an adult by any definition in the world

be me at the los angeles zoo, one of my very favorite places in the world, because i love animals. i am immedietly 8 years old when presented with a little creature. i can’t help it. 

okay, wait, go back. we must establish two things for this to hit right

first: 

the year before, i’d gone to the san diego zoo with my aunt and grandma and! they let you feed giraffes there!! 

how wonderful a world and how wonderful a life, where for $10 I can hand feed a giant creature three crispy biscuits. i go “i am feeding the giraffes right now” and go in line to buy the biscuits and return moments later triumphant, 3 biscuits in my grasp

“oh good!” my grandmother says, “one for each of us!” 

“yes,” i say, despondent, “one for each of us.” 

i wanted to feed all three to the giraffes myself but since i am an actual adult and not a child i do not say this and share the biscuits 

second: 

my friend group echoes. a lot

someone tells a story and ends it with “and that’s what happened!” and the rest of us will repeat “and that’s what happened!” 

often in unison. and it’s constant, all the time, even to little stuff. often said in the tone of “they don’t even have dental” 

ok, so we’re back at the los angeles zoo. they have opened the giraffe feeding 

i am not going to be thwarted again 

my two friends (K and M) get in line to feed them and i go to buy the biscuits. i return with nine biscuits because i am going to give the giraffes three biscuits myself and i do not want to hear a word of protest. i am being fair. i am being equitable. i am sharing. no one can judge me 

“wow!” says K. “that’s a lot of biscuits!” 

“the cult provides,” i say generously, handing over their share, because what is a friend group if not a small cult 

and then, automatically, in unison, like they have so many times before and thinking nothing of what exactly they’re saying, M and K reply, “the cult provides” 

two different people in line turn to stare at us while we all blink at each other and then M nervously shouts, “we are definitely not in a cult!” which sounds like something someone who is in a cult might say 

and ever since it’s been a running bit where one person says “the cult ____” and everyone echoes it as seriously as possible, no matter where we are or who we’re around

which is to say, OP, that you could be living the dream if your friends weren’t cowards 

oh gee discord should I try adding numbers? should I try that???? should I try adding numbers to the end of my username so that it's individualized and only mine???? should I try adding numbers??????????

get you a man who despite his literal decades of practice repressing and hiding his emotions to survive physically cannot hide how smitten he is with you

me: i don’t want to see jellyfish so i will blacklist the tag #jellyfish

people with no common sense: je11yf1sh, je11¥fi5h, j*llyf*sh, je//ÿf!sh, j3ï||yf¡sh, gel lee fisk

result: cannot account for the sheer amount of possible ways to alter the word jellyfish

conclusion: i have to see jellyfish now.

Once again, tumblr is not tiktok, tag properly.

Feel freel to say how your relationship with your parent(s) is in the tags.

Fanon caleb does not get enough credit for his 16 charisma like I know he's sad and haunted and offputting and he's obviously not arrogant golden boy bren charismatic anymore but that cha is still doing work. Like he's persuasive. He speaks well. He regularly launches into well-crafted and carefully delivered monologues. He knows the language of zealotry and he can use it. He's an ex-spy. Like he's sad and wet but he's not a shy blustering social idiot this man pulls off risky and confident gambits on the regular.

CR panel at NYCC in 3 months—is it gonna be another general Q and A?? A Legend of Vox Machina one?? Will we finally get another teaser for animated Nein?? A glimpse at everyone’s character designs and some background art, or even an animated trailer—

@k-thiswasmydesign help you're so right,, I absolutely need to see what they're going to do for his over the top ostentatious character design right now immediately--

Animated teaser where Molly is replaced with floating text that just says ‘Fuck you, Taliesin’

You see, the problem with writing is that it is always easier to just lie facedown on the floor and make incoherent noises.

girl, help i'm having long fic ideas i know will end up having me drenched in blood and crawling on the ground to stay committed for but i can't stop thinking about them